You showed up to camp without knowing any hunting jokes? Pshh. Get outta here, city slicker!
In my experience, flowing jokes (and whiskey) are the perfect social lubricant for deer, elk or whatever camp.
My favorite part of hunting isn’t harvesting an animal. Truth be told, my favorite part of hunting camp is the camaraderie.
Sitting around the fire or cabin just bullshittin’ with the boys (or gals) has a way of making you feel comfortable, you know… like you can let your hair down a little.
That means making fun of each other, telling grandiose hunting fables, and, of course, cracking hunting jokes.
So, what’s it gonna be, pal? Will you be a total dork the whole time while everyone else gets the laughs, or will you have a couple of good hunting jokes tucked up your sleeve?
Advisory: some of these jokes are PG-13, so parental discretion is advised.
Funny & Original Campfire Jokes
Search & Rescue
Kyle and Carl are out hunting for a big buck one day.
While tracking a mule deer, after a while, Kyle looks around and says, “Carl, do you know where we are?”
“No clue,” said Carl, “But I know exactly what to do if we are lost. I saw in a movie that if you shoot into the air three times, someone will hear it and come save us.”
It was worth a shot, so Kyle shot into the air three times and then waited.
After several hours, it didn’t seem like anybody was coming to rescue them, so they tried a second time, but again they waited with no signs of life.
It was getting dark, and Carl suggested they try it again.
“Okay, Carl,” Kyle sighed, “But if it doesn’t work this time, we’re on our own. I’m afraid I’m down to my last three arrows.”
Mr. Richard
A Dad and his two sons are eating burgers around the campfire at a hunting camp.
“What kind of meat is this?” Asked one son.
“I’ll give you a clue; it’s what your Mom calls me,” said the Dad.
Shocked, the third son exclaims, “Don’t eat it! It’s a fucking prick!”
Priorities
Two elk hunters are in a hillside blind overlooking a small town when a big bull starts making his way up to his bedding area. It was headed in a straight line toward the hunters!
But just then, they spot a funeral procession passing through town. Seeing this, one of the hunters stands up, removes his hat, and puts it over his heart.
Once the funeral procession had passed, the man sat back down in the blind. But alas, the bull was gone.
His friend witnessing this, couldn’t believe his eyes and admiringly said, “ I can’t believe how upright of an example you are. You sure are an excellent role model for all sportsmen.”
“Yeah,” said the hunter, “I did it out of respect. After all, we were married for 35 years.”
Okay, Mr. Law Man
Two game wardens stop by a hunting and cattle ranch and tell the rancher and outfitter they suspect them of illegally baiting wildlife. He informs the rancher that he’ll need to search the property.
“Okay, no problem, mister,” says the rancher, “just don’t go in the field over there.”
Angered, the one wildlife officer pulls out his badge and puts it in the face of the rancher, and loudly exclaims, “You see this badge? It means I am a federal agent of the law, and I have the warrant to search this property top to bottom so you can shut your mouth.”
“Well, okay,” Says the Rancher
And with that, the officer began to search the property, and the rancher continued about his chores. But, a short while later, he hears a loud shriek in the distance.
The rancher sees a giant breeder bull chasing the game wardens, gaining ground fast. The rancher quickly drops his tools and runs to the edge of the fence.
He yells, “Your Badge! Show him your badge!”
Being Ungovernable
A game warden catches a young boy carrying a bucket of fish away from a fishing area.
“You’re going to pay a big fine for all those fish in your bucket if you don’t have a license,” the game warden says.
“But, officer, I didn’t catch these. They’re my pet fish; I just bring them here to swim. When they’re done, they jump back into the bucket.”
“Oh really? This I’ve got to see. If you can prove it, I’ll let you go.”
The fisherman empties the bucket into the lake and waits patiently. A few minutes go by, and nothing happens.
The game warden asks, “So, where are your pet fish?”
The young angler replies, “What fish?”
Identity Crisis
Barry died in a cabin fire, and his body was severely burned. The coroner needed someone to identify the body, so (to save his wife the grief) he sent for his two best elk hunting buddies, Rod and Todd. Guys he had hunted with since childhood.
Rod came in to identify the body first. When the doctor pulled back the sheet covering Barry,
Rod said, “Whoa, his face is burnt pretty bad. I can’t tell for sure. You better turn him over.”
The doc rolled him over, and Rod said, “Nope, that ain’t him.”
So the doctor brought in Todd to see if he could identify Barry.
When the sheet was pulled back, Todd said, “Wow, his face is badly burnt. You better turn him over.”
The doctor rolled him over, and to the doctor’s surprise, Todd said, “Nope, that ain’t him.”
The doctor asked, “How can you guys tell?”
“Well,” said Rod, “you see, Barry had two ass-holes.”
“What? How is that possible? I’ve been a doctor for 30 years and never heard of someone with two ass-holes.” Asked the doctor
“Well, we never seen ‘em,” said Todd, “but everybody used to say, ‘Here comes Barry with those two ass-holes.’”
Strong Scent
A redneck in Colorado is loading up his vehicle after hunting when a game warden pulls up alongside his truck and gets out to check his license. As the warden walks up to the truck, he notices three ducks in the back.
“You have a hunting license for the State of Colorado?”
“Yessir, here you go.” Said the hunter as he handed a valid Colorado hunting license to the officer.
The game warden walks over and picks up the first duck; without warning, he turns it around, lifts its tail, and sniffs its butt.
“Okay, well, this duck is from Colorado.”
The hunter snickered as the warden grabbed the second duck and sniffed its hiney.
“This duck isn’t from here; this duck is from Kansas. Where is your Kansas hunting license?”
Shocked, the warden could tell that just by sniffing it, the hunter hands over a valid hunting license for Kansas.
The game warden picks up the Third duck and sniffs its butt hole.
“This duck isn’t from here; it’s from Nebraska. Do you have a valid hunting license from Nebraska?”
Again, shocked, the Redneck hands over a valid Nebraska hunting license.
“Wow,” says the warden, “You sure are a dedicated and accomplished hunter. Where did you say you were from again?”
Without skipping a beat, the redneck dropped his drawers, turned around, and bent over, exposing his whole bum.
“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”
New Boot Goofin’
A young blonde woman really wanted a new pair of alligator shoes, so she took up alligator hunting. While walking into the woods, she encounters a hunter.
“Are you okay, ma’am? Alligator hunting can be awfully dangerous. You could get hurt if you don’t know what you’re doing.”
“I’ll be fine, I’m very motivated, and I’m not going to stop until I get a new set of alligator shoes.” Explained the blonde woman proudly.
Later that day, the worried hunter walks into the swamp and checks on the woman to see if she’s okay. To his surprise, he walks up on quite a sight. The woman pulls a 9-foot alligator from the water with her bare hands.
Also, five other dead alligators are on the shore, each one bigger than the next.
“Shoot!” Exclaimed the blonde woman “This one isn’t wearing shoes either.”
One-Liner Hunting Jokes
What costs more, beer nuts or deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts, because you can get two deer nuts under a buck!
What do you call a blind buck?
A: No-eye deer! (No Idea-r)
What do you call a buck that’s blind and has no legs?
A: Still no-eye deer!
What do you call a buck that’s blind, has no legs, and has no nuts?
A: Still no effin’-eye deer!
Did you hear the one about the leaches clinging onto the buck?
A: They were holding on for deer life!
Why did the deer get braces?
A: He had buck teeth.
Why was my wife upset when I got back from hunting?
A: She had just lost a deer friend.
Why did the hunter get into deer breeding?
A: He heard that’s where you can make the big bucks.
Why was the hunter arrested for shooting his first turkey?
A: It terrified everyone in the frozen foods section
Why would you go to jail for shooting our national bird?
A: Well, first of all, it’s ill-eagle.
Well, those are all the jokes I have for now!
My Dad used to say that laughter was the best medicine. Which is why several of my brothers died of altitude sickness.
You now have all the hunting jokes you need. All you have to do now is nail the delivery.
If you have some funny jokes or hunting stories, don’t be stingy with them and please comment below and share them with our readers.
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